"Stress."
Can anyone tell me what the hell I'm doing up at 12:06 p.m. when I should be sleeping? Yesterday I got a grand total of three hours of sleep, which has been about my average for the last five days or so.
Make that six days.
So, yesterday while trying to sleep, and having a devil of a time with it, I may add, I got three--count them, THREE, phone calls in an hour. One was from one of Clint's friends, who knows the hours Clint works, and knows that I sleep during the day. Another was from the king of the abode himself, who had nothing important to say. The last was from the pediatrician's office, calling to "confirm" Zachary's appointment today. What a load of bull. My appointment was originally set for 11:00 today, but they moved it up to 10:30! How is that confirmation, please tell me?! The lady on the other end said, "We don't really set appointments for 11:00." So why on earth did they even say they had an opening for 11:00 when I scheduled the appointment over two months ago?
Argh.
So I rushed home so I could take Clint to work, as I obviously needed the car, and he was still asleep! The other day I had a hard time trying to get home and time was tight, and he wouldn't even say, "I love you" on his way out because he was so angry with me. Then he turns off the alarm and sleeps until I get home. If I had arrived just three minutes later he would have been late to work today.
He was not only supposed to be ready to go, he was supposed to have been up a few minutes early so he could get Zack ready to go out. So, at the doctor's office, I waited in the little clinical room for over thirty-five minutes. Just waited. I was to the appointment on time, but I didn't leave until 11:45. Zack got hungry while we were there, and I was trying to calm him down, but there's no substitute for food.
I'm feeding him now, and if I go to bed when I'm done I know I will sleep through the alarm, so I have no choice but to stay awake with absolutely no sleep. What a night at work this is going to be.
Other than that, learning about Allan's death, along with fighting my own demons, along with the fact that several of my friends are in need of support right now, I am pretty well stressed out to my limit. It'll be a miracle if I ever get to see the insides of my eyelids for more than three or four hours.
You know, maybe just thoroughly check them for holes. Gotta stay on top of that, you never know.
-Ave
9 comments:
Tell you what, you lean on me and I'll lean on you, and maybe...just maybe...we won't both have a complete collapse.
I use my stereo to wake up. If I think I'm going to sleep through it, I just set it so the volume is really loud. It's a horrible way to wake up, but it works.
Saw you're comment on J's journal. I've been having the same problem with my journal too and it is really pissing me off. I even tried instant messaging an entry in, but that wouldn't work either. What about this new advertising banner? It totally ruins the whole feel of the journals, IMO. Now I feel like an unwilling prostitute to AOHell.
wow, you got your hands full. yep, stress sounds like the right word. hope it all falls together better in the end than it sounds like so far.
off topic...no problems on my journal, but that ad nonsense isn't rubbing me right. oh well...i guess paying aohell for service isn't enough for them..they had to try to sqeeze a few more pennies out of it, by slapping a stupid banner ad on top. i got to say and i know i'm way off topic here now, but maybe i'll entertain you a little with my ramblings??:) i will never ever click on a banner ad...even if it's something i need i still won't out of principle! maybe one day these fools trying to sqeeze water from a rock will figure out what a waste of time these pop ups and banners, etc really are? here's hoping, anyways.:)
you know you need a little Ave time to just relax......that should fix everything up..well at least until you come back to your life.:)
j.h.
I can't get my journal to work. I tried LiveHelp 3 times, and it didn't help. AOL sucks. I tried the computer check-up thing too, and that didn't work either. Don't you love this wonderful online world of stress which only serves to add on to the stress we all have in the real world. This is supposed to be an escape, but it appears it is just another trap.
G'night,
Robert
I think maybe... you are awake at 12:06PM because you are how you say...Responsible.
I know how it is to be sooo sleep deprived and having to take care of a baby and go to work and deal with all kinds of friend issues.
I hope things wind down soon and that you get the "me" time you are so in need of.
And just what you need now , Clint being angry because of things that are out of your hands and him sleeping late and not helping with Zachary when he knew all about the doctors appointment.
Geezzzzz , don't get me started on the inconsiderate issue
(Zzzzzzzzipping my lips now)
Maybe...this would be a good time to have a relative , at least one you like - keep Zack if possible?
Please don't scream at me for saying that , but you know , it's a thought:)
Sounds good to me.
Damn people calling when they know you are trying to sleep , I know how that one is too and the funny part is - they don't really have a good reason for calling.
Oh and I love how the pediatrician calls and says they want you to come to your appointment ealier than they had planned.
That's a good one.
Happens a lot.
They schedule you and then someone cancels and the doctor thinks , okay easy day - I'll just fit this one in here and then the rest of my day is free ...yeah , LOL
But , in all actuality - you were in with the doctor at the actual appointed time , right?
Damn.... , hope you can get through this all without raising your stress level anymore than it already is.
I know it's hard but remember you are doing the best you can and that's the right thing to be doing.
And.... - stress causes grey hair and high blood pressure -
Just thinking about it makes me feel like a pirate too...with grey hair and high blood pressure...LOL
...
Sorry for writing my own entry , im making up for not saying anything at other times , LOL
...
v
wow!!! how does All4eyez do such long comments?!?!?! everytime i try aohell tells me "no"!! okay all4eyez..what's the secret aol code?? come on share, please, lol!:)
j.h.
sssshhhhhh....
Don't tell AOHell
What they don't know they cant stop , lol
i think it is that it looks like I am using a lot of words , because it is all spaced out - but it isnt that many words
its just spaced out...
LOL
i just think they are trying to make friends with me, lol
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